Tools For When We Hurt

So many of us carry emotional scars and baggage from our human experiences. We can loose jobs, homes, bank accounts, a child, a family member friend , a relationship.

During these times of loss we feel like we are loosing our minds, our footing. We do not have tools to walk through our sorrow. We think , “I’ll be Ok , this pain will pass.

I call this pain, “the Awe of the Raw” .

I only realized this pass week that the anger I felt when we lost home, daughter, mother, business in a three yr. period was not anger . It was the Pain of the Raw. Of being vulnerable, exposed.

I lost all of these in three short years with the exception of my marriage of 40 yrs. During that time, our union was in question but we worked through our dark night with a few tools. We had to reconnect with our core self first then with each other.

During a recent trip to Bali , a good friend said ”Lilly, you have not allowed your sorrow to come through.” I recognized , Grief was about me , my ego ,Sorrow was about sadness. Not the raw of the pain but a deep deep sorrow. I decided to enter this sorrow much like you would enter into a well.

I entered this well as I would enter my sacred space in our home. With respect and curiosity .

When I returned from the well I realized I had developed a few steps to help myself and you , “Power Up Your Life “,through grief of any kind.

1.Respect Your Sadness: Take some time to enter into your heart and feel the sadness. Allow the tears to flow , quietly , peacefully.

2.Let Go & Surrender: Letting go to an energy that you trust in is a wonderful way to allow your ego to get out of the way. That energy you may choose to call God, Higher power, higher self or someone who is carrying you , an angel, a departed love one . Light a candle to this energy, breathe in Love as you light , breathe out Hope .

3.Nurture yourself: Look forward to your favourite cup of tea, a daily walk, a prayer you repeat each day. ( this can be a song) . Remember your true essence. Go back to when you were very young and embrace that wee one, reintroduce yourselves to one another. Take time to play. Eat wholesome food. Yes ,chocolate and a good glass of wine once in a while will not hurt you unless sugar is an addiction. If it is , nurture yourself into letting go and find something else that you enjoy. Almonds, hummus, peanut butter shakes have always helped me . I am an addict so sugar is out for me.

4.Know thyself: Listen to Caroline Myss ,author of Sacred Contracts and her series on Archetypes. Once you know yourself you are much better equipped to witness thyself .

5:Create: Whether it is the life you want, perhaps a painting you have been longing to create. A book you have been meaning to write. A cake you wanted to bake. You get the idea. Get your creative juices flowing. Start creating new memories.

6:Embody the whole of the holy: Sit and meditate daily . Five minutes or an hour . There are no rules. Allow yourself to just BE.

Say a mantra such as,” I choose to be awake in my life, participate in my being, contribute to my community, allow joy to have me”

7:Let Spirit have you: Just for today, one day at a time, allow yourself the freedom to step out of the way and “let spirit have you”

You can awake each day with the question, ‘what is my assignment today?”. Allow the day to unfold with YOU as a participant, doing your daily chores, rituals, responsibilities, but witness what is showing up for you.

Whatever your pain, My hope for you is that you believe in yourself enough to light the power fuse in you that only you can ignite.

YOU ARE AN EMPOWERED BEING OF LIGHT. Now go set the world in and around  you on fire.

Blessings to you this day and always in all ways. Lilly